Happy either way

Many of my clients want to experience the heart coherent state of freedom. When they say this to me they're not telling me they want to abandon all responsibility and go live as a hermit for the rest of their life (even if they think they do), they're saying they'd like to experience freedom from the worry, sadness, hurt, anger and disappointment generated by their unconscious responses to life stimuli.

It reminded me of someone I was supporting recently. They were several rounds into being interviewed for a new role with a life changing prospect on the table. The stakes were high, as was the tension.

Freedom is being happy either way that recruitment process pans out - getting the role, or not getting the role. Or something else entirely. If they get the job, they move forwards on their new path. If they don't get the job, they move forwards on their new path. Both require them to stay innocent to what the future may bring and be at peace with their life experience, whatever it is.

In fact freedom to be happy either way is actually an essential skill for success in life, where success is defined by having the full life experience. Being willing to experience rejection sometime and willing to experience acceptance sometimes, and to be happy either way, is the ultimate freedom.

This doesn't mean you don't have a preference on how things pan out, just that your wellbeing doesn't depend on a particular outcome.

It certainly beats needing things to go your way all the time for you to feel like you will be ok!

The flip experience is the worry that comes when you resist a particular potential outcome. Worry is a big drain on your energy and what you are worried about almost never materialises. You *imagine* what the future will look like and put your body through the undue stress of that imagined experience which is usually a worst case scenario and is totally unbalanced. Ouch!

Mental Resilience

I had the privilege to observe an Olympian compete for his country once. A veteran in his age group compared to his fellow athletes he always prided himself on his mental strength. His desire to win was strong, but he was always going to be mentally and physically fine if things panned out differently.

It was just as well because he sprained his ankle the night before and wasn't even sure he could race. Undeterred he made it to the start line, drew on his mental strength to get through the race and went on to win a bronze medal.

So should you find yourself in an either/or situation, I encourage you to be open to the idea you can be happy either way and move forwards with grace. That can be choosing between which cafe to visit or whether to marry someone or not.

When you're happy for it to go either way, you are free!

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Need to be happy either way with something? The Calm Cure coaching approach is perfect for this. Clear a lifetime of resistance in a few minutes and set yourself free!

#freedom #wellbeing