Feelings, not facts

People can go their whole life believing their feelings of hurt, anger, fear and resentment were caused by another, but if you look at it rationally, this is simply not true! Whether we realise it or not, we get to decide how we feel - though it may take some consciousness to be that way.

Let me give you an example.

Person A tells person B they don't like their behaviour. Person B feels scared and angry and vows never to engage with person A again.

Person B may feel like they've solved the problem, but what if they bump into person A again? They will likely feel scared and angry all over again - even if it's decades later.

These are perfectly typical behaviours and most people wouldn't challenge them.

However, what if you knew that you get to choose how you feel?

Most feelings come from our thoughts, many of which are unconscious - which means we're not consciously aware of them. We are however, aware of the consequences of them - our emotions / feelings and these can be uncomfortable.

Beliefs like "I am powerless", "others are more important than me", "my opinions don't matter", "adults are correct (which implies children are wrong)", "I will be punished if I don't do as I'm told" run like scripts in our unconscious mind, and shape the way we react and behave.

These scripts are formed in our early years as we are drawing conclusions about life, how the world operates and how to get our core needs met. They then become the filter through which we see all of our life experiences until...

...we challenge them.

What if we were to look at those beliefs and flesh out how true they were? For something to be true it has to be true all the time, not just some of the time.

Are adults ALWAYS correct? Am I truly powerless? Are others always more important than me? These beliefs may FEEL true, but they're not ALWAYS true.

In reality, these things feel true, but they're feelings not facts.

And that's when the liberation comes.

We can rewrite our reactions to past events this time with the truth that:

• we are powerful, just like everyone else,

• we are all equally as important,

• we have a right to have an opinion,

• adults aren't always correct (what is "correct" anyway?) and if we get punished because we don't do as we're told, we're not a bad person - we are living authentically according to our values and as an adult yourself, you may find you are proud of yourself for that.

Reclaiming our power to choose how we feel about certain events frees us up from having to avoid certain people, places and things. It gives us our sovereignty back and promises a brighter future.

My go to technique to leverage all of these learning's is Mind Detox. It challenges us to rethink our experiences and reprogramme our reactions to new and more healthy ones.

The Mind Detox Method can be incredibly fast, and if you're ready to do the work, effective. I love it, because it's simple and helpful and can create huge changes that the nervous system experiences immediately.

Let me know if you'd like to know more!

#MindDetox #Beliefs #wellbeing